The Becoming

Matthew 28:18-20

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in Heaven and on Earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded of you. And behold I am with you always, to the end of age.

In the above passage, and again in Deuteronomy 31:8, we are reminded that God will never leave us. In any situation of any given day, we can have confidence in knowing that we do not have to be afraid, for He goes before us.

Being under the one who has all authority in everything, it is my hope that in each of my blog posts, whether it be about food, life’s crazy turns, family, etc., that I will be able to point it back to God and give Him the glory. Writing has always been one of my major passions, as is for many others, so I pray that on my new journey blogging, I can continue to grow in my writing, as well as my faith in Jesus Christ, and share some love with all of you guys.

As a freshman in college, I still have so much to learn and improve on, so if any one has any input or constructive criticism, I would love to hear it! I hope you guys enjoy my posts to come, and I’m super excited to read yours as well!

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forgiven

Hey guys, I’ve been dealing with a lot lately, but God has been given me some incredible reminders about myself, and you too. I will include those at the end of the message. First though, I wanted to write down some song lyrics for y’all. God can speak through anything, if you’ll only listen. I hope these touch y’alls hearts as much as it touched mine, and if any one of you need prayer or someone to talk to, just message me 🙂

“And I’ll run into your arms, unashamed because of mercy. I’m overwhelmed by you.”

“God, You are the most wonderful.”

“When I felt no worth, you paid it all for me.”

“Fight till I’m found.”

“In this moment, Heaven’s working everything for your good.”

“You have been so, so good to me.”

“I’ll be by your side wherever you fall, in the dead of night whenever you call, please don’t fight these hands that are holding you.”

“Love’s healing hands have pulled you through.”

“My sin was great, your love was greater.”

“Our shame was deeper than the sea, your grace was deeper still.”

“I’m there in the heartache, I’m there in the storm. My love, I will keep you by my power alone. I don’t care where you’ve fallen, or where you have been. I’ll never forsake you, my love never ends.”

Whenever God delivers you from a sin, that is no longer your burden to carry. You don’t have to live there anymore. It may take time, you may feel like you’ve already come out of that pit, but then realize later on you were still in it. God doesn’t give up on you. You may feel like it’s never going to get easier, but then..it does. He will never forsake you, even when you fail him from time to time. He will never stop pursuing you as long as you are pursuing him as well.

Sweet mornings

As I slowly opened my eyes this morning, I looked up to find my husband holding me in his arms, and staring at me. He sweetly smiled at me as I kissed his shoulder.

“What time is it baby?” I said as I stretched. He pulled out his arm from under the blanket to look at his watch.

“It’s 6:41.” He said, still smiling. I on the other hand started panicking! We are usually up by 6, he needs to be on his way to work by 720.

“6:41?! Honey, I’m so sorry its so late. You have work.”

“Yeah I know baby, I just wanted to lay with you a little longer.”

This man is always on time for things, especially work related things! He always is prompt on time and is always ready to go 20 minutes before he even has to leave. He laid in bed for 40 minutes after the alarm went off just to hug up to me and watch me sleep. God has given me the sweetest blessing I could imagine!

Late Night Talks

My husband and I have to get up almost every morning at 530-6. Usually we have the TV off and we’re asleep by 930-10 most work nights. However, last night we were up watching Parks and Rec and goofing around, which included I assume most husbands do, he kept farting on me and laughed every time I fell off the bed laughing about it xD.

By 10:30 we had the tv off and were just talking about everything we could think of! From our favorite spongebob episodes, to going to Colorado in a few months. It was so sweet and so intimate beyond what I could have imagined just talking could be. After laughing for a little while longer, at 11 we set out to finally fall asleep!

After laying in the dark for only 3 minutes, I felt him shifting and turning towards me. “Are you going to sleep??” I heard him ask. I laughed because he’s normally  super serious about getting enough sleep, and I responded, “kinda, I’m just laying here.” He muttered an “Oh.” I turned around to see him about 4 inches away from my face and I asked him, “Are you going to sleep?” He took a few seconds to reply, “Not yet. I really like talking to you.” So we curled up together and laughed and imitated our favorite youtube video, and then watched it on his phone and laughed some more until we finally fell asleep.

Life gets hard sometimes, work schedules get stressful, and family intervenes always at the wrong time, but none of that even compares to how great these nights are. Just laying down with your best friend in the world, sharing kisses, planning adventures, and just being in the arms of who God has given to you. I am certain, there is nothing better.

Time:)

Wow, you guys! A lot has happened since I’ve last written on here! My boyfriend and I in my previous posts got engaged back in October, he went to Coast Guard Boot Camp in February, when he got back in April we got married, and now we live in Texas where he works! Through my next few posts I hope to show you guys our love and how great life is when you obey God! I’m in such a better, joyful place than I used to be, even back when I wrote my last posts, and I hope to share it with y’all! 🙂 I hope you have an amazing day!

Until My Last Breath

There’s a little over one million words in the English language, but I could never string any of them together to be able to describe what you mean to me. I don’t know if I’ll be able to show you just how much I love you, but I’ll spend the rest of my life trying.

Unlearning Fear

I’ve spent the last few years learning to hate myself. It wasn’t all self taught– really. I dated the wrong guy at the wrong time. He made it easy to see my flaws, sitting there counting someone’s stretch marks out loud made it hard to miss. He hated me, and everything about me, but… we called it love.

This love was a toxic love though, like an anchor dragging you down through waves of poison. You know those dreams where you’re trying to swim to the top to get a breath of fresh air, but no matter how much you swim up, you can never break the surface? Much like David described in Psalm 69:1, that’s how his love made me feel. The only time I was able to catch a breath, was ironically, when I was drowning in my tears on the shower floor at two in the morning, praying to God that the water would wash me clean.

After almost a year, and several chances to leave, God saw that I wasn’t able to leave, but where I am weak, He is strong. He took me out of that relationship and brought me into one with Him. It was only then that I was able to breathe deeply for the first time. I had finally found the love I was so earnestly longing for, but hopelessly settling for what I thought I deserved, what I thought was as good as it got.

It has been one eating disorder, two PTSD therapists, and 3 years later, and I can honestly say I have never been happier. If God had not been so gracious as to save me and bring me into a covenant with him, and now with a lovely, smart, God-fearing man, I would still be in the deep waters, waves crashing over me, in the toxicity of a silly boy. Although some days I still don’t like myself, I’ve learned to love myself everyday. I’m starting to see what REAL love looks like, and by the grace of God, I’m starting to love others that way as well. I have spent years drowning beneath the waves, but now I am soaring on an Eagle’s wings.

{Psalm 69:1 Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck!                                            1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.                                                            Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.}

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